Under the Table

Yesterday Stephen spent the morning working with his Dad. Not wanting to waste away indoors while the weather was so lovely I asked Evie what she wanted to do. "Eat burger. Go Target." Sure thing, kiddo. I haven't had a Whataburger in I don't even know how long so that sounded awesome to me. We ordered our burgers and found a spot in a booth  right by the main entrance. Evie sat on one side and I sat on the other.

Until recently Evie had to be buckled into a high chair or booster seat whenever we went out to eat. She struggles against the impulse to run around and grab, drink, eat off any table she can get to. This is a struggle we still fight occasionally, but it has improved to the point that we can trust her to sit "like a big girl" so long as we can be ready to intervene if the urge to flee hits her.

I was sitting with Evie doing my best to have a conversation with her. They usually go something like this:

Me: Evie, what did you do at school?

Evie: ...blank, open-mouth stare...

Me: Evie, what are we going to do at Target?

Evie: Get cake pop!

Me: How are you...

Evie: NO! NO!

She spends the next few minutes SHOUTING at each person who comes in to Whataburger "HI!" "HI!" "HI!" Most people will say "Hi" back, most find it cute. Sometimes people ignore her. That's life. As my one-person greeter continued her assault on the patrons this little old lady walked up to the table. At this point Evie stopped and started pointing and calling this sweet lady "Grandma" Nice, Evie. The lady told me that Evie was precious and attempted to have a conversation with Evie, which as you can see above, are always pretty short. She then proceeded to tell me all about her love of Whataburger. I visited and was as polite as can be, but what sweet people who engage us in these settings don't realize is that I am having an entire conversation with Evie under the table. You would never see it, but it's happening.

You see, it is a constant job to keep Evie's impulses from dictating her behaviors and choices. She likes the feeling of kicking her legs against things, so I've got my legs completely extended under the booth to provide Evie with something to kick against so that this lady doesn't take a hit. She makes an effort to stand up at one point, so I use my other leg to gently keep her non-kicking leg from getting onto the booth. She tries to slide out of the booth, so I use a leg to slide her bottom back over. She starts to rub her leg against mine because I'm pretty sure that comforts her. All of this is going on while I listen to this woman tell me about her first trip to Whataburger in 1950. She's 87 years old and she thinks a regular Whataburger diet is what keeps her healthy. She has no idea that all of this is going on under the table.

After she said good-bye and headed back over to her table I chuckled to myself. This conversation is such a literal example of how we live and it's also a great metaphor for being a parent to Evie. People see her, but they don't see everything going on "under the table." They can't see how much work we have done to get Evie to the point where she can sit "like a big girl." They don't see all we do to set Evie up for success, to make sure she's getting the support she needs, to help her reach developmental milestones. No one can see what's going on inside her head. They don't see the way she struggles. All people see is the goofy, joyful beautiful child that she is. I am so glad that those are the things that people see because I know those things are all so important and a tremendous blessing. She is all of those things and more.