Dear Shelley, (circa 2009)

Re: 2009

 

Dear Shelley,

 

You've been through the ringer. You've decided on adoption. You've picked an agency. You've attended orientation. You've sat back and heard all of the magical stories of how caring and nurturing your agency is. You've made your to-do list, and you are overjoyed to begin this process. Savor the wave of bliss you are riding. You are in for YEARS of heartbreak. That caseworker that treated you so sweetly at orientation is actually well... a jackwagon. That average wait time they gave you, yeah, that's crap. They also failed to mention the rampant number of failed matches that occur. Nothing like getting your heart invested in, not one, but two matches when the birthmothers actually decide "PSYCH". You're going to find out how supportive your family and friends can be. You're going to find out what your husband looks like when he is simply broken. You're going to feel pain so deep, it feels infinite. Adoption is not what you expected.

 

Now that I've told you all of that, let me tell you this. When you reach the point of being completely "over" adoption, your phone is going to ring. You're going to get a call that there is a baby girl ready for you to come pick her up. The process isn't going to look like the agency described. You're going to get less than 24 hours notice that you need to come pick her up.

 

Placement Day

You're going to fall instantly in love with her. She's going to rock your world. She's going to show you how much you can love another human being. She's going to reduce your husband to tears. She's going to prove that the hell you've been through, ends with a beautiful and content baby.

 

Thank you for joining us for finalization.
Mom, Dad, Stephen, Judge, Evie, MIL, Shelley, FIL, Emily, Stephanie, and Brandon

Hang tough, Shelley. At the end of this journey, you're going to be blessed. Your feelings towards adoption may be different on the other side than you expected. You're not going to be interested in doing another domestic adoption. You're actually going to be ready to begin researching Haitian adoption.

 

I love you Shelley. I'm really happy you are where you are. Even though I know what painful and upsetting things are ahead for you, I know that you have to go through it all to get to Evelyn Kayen. She's worth it. Promise.