The following is a recent FB post from a dear friend of mine who seems to have pulled the words right out of my heart! Get em' tiger Kari! My commentary is in BOLD!
"Over the weekend I was asked the question that I actually get asked the most about L’s adoption. The rudest, stupidest question you can think of. “Are you worried about raising a child that has been exposed to drug use?” Apparently people think my child is a crack baby. Well he’s not. His birthmother did not use any drugs during her pregnancy and there wasn’t a trace of drugs in his system at birth. And even if there was, why would we share that with idiots who ask us that stupid question? Why would we share with anyone? We are the ones committed to raising our son, not anyone else. And even if he had been born with Meth or Cocaine or Heroin in his system or missing limbs or some disease that would not have changed our answer when we got the call about him. We would have said YES a thousand times.
Adoption is a miracle, a true miracle. To people who don’t understand it, they are missing out on an amazing thing. This same person also said “Well it’s good you ‘took him in’ because obviously his mom didn’t want him.” (BURNS MY CHAPS EVERY SINGLE TIME!!!!!)
We didn’t “take him in”. We spent 3.5 years of our life waiting on this precious child. We cried countless tears, had many sleepless nights, prayed for him, longed for him. He FOUND us and blessed US by coming into our lives. Our lives are 1000 times richer because of this child. He is amazing, smart, funny, loving, precious, and adds complete happiness to our lives. He saved US, we didn’t save him. (I hate when people act like we adopted as charity or something. Totally not our motivation at all! Adoption is not a savior complex, it's finding and building your family!)
Also, his birthmom. Why do people assume she didn’t want him?! (Le duh people!) She SACRIFICED a huge part of her. How many women do you know who can give birth to a child and make an adoption plan for him or her knowing very well they may never see this child again, but knowing that they are unable to care for a baby and want the best for that child? I bet you don’t know many. Most young moms only think of themselves. I can think of countless moms who actually can’t and aren’t even raising their own child but didn’t have the courage to place them with a family who can. L’s birthmom made that hard choice. She will forever be our angel. You will never hear me say one negative thing about her, because there are none. She is strong, beautiful, selfless, and courageous. She gave him life and then chose a life for him with us. (So, so true! This is the most important thing I want my baby to know about her BM!)
Adoption is a miracle, a true miracle. To people who don’t understand it, they are missing out on an amazing thing. This same person also said “Well it’s good you ‘took him in’ because obviously his mom didn’t want him.” (BURNS MY CHAPS EVERY SINGLE TIME!!!!!)
We didn’t “take him in”. We spent 3.5 years of our life waiting on this precious child. We cried countless tears, had many sleepless nights, prayed for him, longed for him. He FOUND us and blessed US by coming into our lives. Our lives are 1000 times richer because of this child. He is amazing, smart, funny, loving, precious, and adds complete happiness to our lives. He saved US, we didn’t save him. (I hate when people act like we adopted as charity or something. Totally not our motivation at all! Adoption is not a savior complex, it's finding and building your family!)
Also, his birthmom. Why do people assume she didn’t want him?! (Le duh people!) She SACRIFICED a huge part of her. How many women do you know who can give birth to a child and make an adoption plan for him or her knowing very well they may never see this child again, but knowing that they are unable to care for a baby and want the best for that child? I bet you don’t know many. Most young moms only think of themselves. I can think of countless moms who actually can’t and aren’t even raising their own child but didn’t have the courage to place them with a family who can. L’s birthmom made that hard choice. She will forever be our angel. You will never hear me say one negative thing about her, because there are none. She is strong, beautiful, selfless, and courageous. She gave him life and then chose a life for him with us. (So, so true! This is the most important thing I want my baby to know about her BM!)
People have told me, “You’ve done a good thing, I could never love a child that wasn’t my own.” Well that is not an issue for me. L is mine. He came from me. He came from the deepest part of my heart and is fully and completely a part of me and 100% MY OWN." (YES! YES! YES! Quit asking me about Evie's mom! I AM HER MOM!)
How I adore my friend Kari. She gets it!
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