Juggling Act

Why do I feel the compulsion to have a blog? Why do I think my words are so important that someone else is going to want to read them? Is my writing worthy? Is this vanity?

Don’t answer that.

I do such a piss poor job of keeping this blog updated. It’s not that I don’t want too. There are so many thoughts in my head that I want to keep a record of but yet I end up getting overwhelmed and forcing them into oblivion rather than documenting them. On a daily basis I’ll think of something profound or entertaining and think to myself, “I need to write that down!” but instead I find myself posting the 34,678^th picture of my daughter on Facebook instead. Don’t get me wrong she’s adorable but I’m beginning to wonder if I’m not giving myself enough of, well, Me.

I got my eyebrows waxed last week for the first time since March. Let that stew. My eyebrows were making a valiant effort to grow into each other. I looked at myself in the mirror last week and actually shuddered. Above those gnarly eyebrows I saw about ½ of grey hair growing out of my roots. When was the last time I got my hair colored? January. JANUARY! Don’t even get me started on the state of my feet. Let’s just say they are drier than the Sahara with cracks so deep that it hurts to walk. Last pedicure? March.

I understand that compared to a MASSIVE percentage of the world this is going to seem incredibly petty, but I am craving some TLC for me. I feel as if I am pouring everything I have so that I have nothing left for myself. This is probably due, in part, to the fact that I have no support system where we live. I don’t have a sitter I can call on when I need a break. When Evie finally goes to bed at night I attempt to keep this house clean-ish. When I finally wind down, settle in for a bath with a good book, my husband will want to visit and I have actually shoo-ed him out of the bathroom telling him “I need my time.” and he looks so hurt by this. I’m working on this.

I imagine I am not alone in the juggling act. I just wish there was a little more time every day so that everyone got the attention and time they deserve. Mostly, I wish I had enough time to not look and feel like the laziest wife in the world.