Choose Your Own Adventure

I am supremely frustrated that I am at a point in my life where everything seems to be hanging in limbo.  If you remember back to your grade school days, you may remember the Choose Your Adventure books.  In these books you read a few pages before the book offered you a choice.  The choices looked something like this:

a.  If you want to follow the kitty down the rabbit hole, please turn to page 27.

b.  If you decide to listen to your aunt and go inside for lunch, please turn to page 58.

In these books the story would go where you chose.  You were able to commit to a plan and continue down the path of the story.  How refreshing these books were because you were able to make a decision and move forward.  As a daughter of Christ, I know that ultimately He is in control and that my plans are His plans for me, but I would LOVE if He could show me what's to happen in our world.  These books gave the reader some sense of certainty that they were assisting in the progress of the story.  That's all I want!  Some certainty that I'm able to make decisions!

The lovely ability to commit is something my life is sadly missing right now.  I know I am a control freak, borderline OCD, and someone who requires diligent planning.  I am so sick of not being able to make plans beyond the immediate future.  I don't like that I can't confidently commit to things because our future is so uncertain.  All of my conversations about the upcoming year go something like this, "If we have a baby, then _______.  If we don't have a baby then _______."  I cannot wait until this line is removed from our vocabulary!

I don't know if I'm speaking to a group who will be shaking their head in confusion, or if some of you will actually understand what I'm saying.  It makes sense in my mind, but it might not be translating to text very well.

a.  If you understand what I'm saying, please comment below.

b. If you are utterly confused and shaking your head, you are probably not alone.